Britney Spears

Miss Little “yes i will supersize that” will be questioned today in her ongoing custody case. According to People,

A source close to the case expects Spears’s testimony, taken under oath, to last no more than one day. It begins in the morning at the offices of Federline’s attorneys.

It’s expected that Spears will be grilled about her past drug and alcohol use, her alleged failure to follow court orders, and anything that reveals whether she’s a fit mother.

“A deposition can be emotionally draining, because Kevin’s lawyer can ask very personal questions about her relationship with her kids — and she’ll be under oath,” explains L.A. family lawyer Lynn Soodik, who’s not involved with the case.

The stuff they left out includes stripping nude in clubs and stores, driving kids without seat belts or stored improperly in the wrong direction in their car seats, the bubbling grease from her industrial deep frier, the overall wanton disregard for the safety of those lovable future foster kids. This deposition might be a joke. There’s no way she’s getting her kids back because how will she parent the next time when her vagina inevitably screams to be set free from its jail made of cloth and elastic and show itself to paparazzi across the world? She will drop her screaming and crying kids to the ground, while her vagina lurches uncontrollably, like Frankenstein, towards the flashing bulbs of publicity hounds. – Captain Swarthy