Lauren Conrad

This isn’t really news anymore, but The Hills is fake. Producers of the hit MTV show felt a little puckish and hoped someone on the show would hook-up with a local when they were shooting in France to make the show look better. To help their plot line along they sent the word out to French publicists for any guys to set the girls up with. Soon enough, they were set up with the band Rock & Roll, “the King Cobras of New Wave Rock.” Whatever that means. Page Six also says Spencer and Heidi breaking up is bs.

“Lauren was filmed riding off with the guitar player, Matthias, on the back of his bike,” our source said. “They hooked up.” The band’s biggest hit is “Loser, Boozer, Jacuzzi-User.”

“We headed straight for the bar, and Spencer walks right by us from the bathroom back to his table with Heidi,” said our source. “Within five minutes they were hustled out because Lauren and her entourage were coming over to Koi and wouldn’t be in the same room as them.”

What does this mean to you, the average person who doesn’t watch this drivel? Absolutely nothing. Just know that your lives are probably much more interesting than these people’s would be if they weren’t on reality tv. Without this show, Lauren Conrad would have drank herself to death, Heidi would either be a gold digging pregnant girlfriend addicted to alcohol and blow or she’d be doing porn and Spencer would have his ass kicked every week at the same bar because he just seems like a douche.

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