Fergie

Josh Duhamel proposed to that monster Fergie. The two are engaged, but no wedding date has been mentioned. God, if I ever propose to a girl who looks like Fergie, I want you to kick me in the nuts because, one, I might be drugged and that could wake me up, and two, if I’m not drugged, that means I’ve been kidnapped and can’t escape so kicking me in the nuts will hopefully not allow this beast to try and breed with me.

How can Josh have sex with her? I’d be dry heaving through the whole thing. She’s like some ancient Greek myth. The body of a goddess and the head of, I don’t know, something that was killed with a shovel and is in its third week of decay?

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