Jack Nicholson

Jack Nicholson was recently interviewed by Parade magazine where he talked about a variety of stuff like his childhood, family, death, moving, acting and more specifically, women. Jack says the issues between man and woman aren’t psychological, they’re glandular.

“These issues between men and women are not psychological. Look, remember what a gland is. Most of these are glandular issues. A gland is what allows that mother to lift that truck off a child. Whatever intelligent design is, it’s not going to leave the continuation of the human species up to fashion-crazy, flitting mentalities. It’s in those glands.”

“The infatuation cycle of 18 months hasn’t changed a lot since the monkeys. Look at the numbers. Eighteen months is nine months doubled. A woman’s entire system is set so that when you’re having that procreative act with a woman, you’re dealing with a being whose actual cycle is nine months. It doesn’t have to do with her brain. It has to do with her entire bodily system, which is there to overcome the brain. We don’t legislate this stuff. We don’t out-think it. You cannot change these fundamental things that we are as human beings–but you can adjust to it.”

*Profusely nodding head to hide my blank stare* Uh-huh, totally. Glandular. Right. So, uh, can you say, “Herrrrrre’s Johnny!,” into this tape recorder? It would make a really great sound-byte.