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Keifer Sutherland to spend 48 days in jail

In between saving the president and defending America against terrorists, Kiefer Sutherland drunk drives through L.A. The 40-year-old actor surrendered to jail today to begin serving a 48 day sentence for his latest DUI arrest and probation violation. Kiefer is expected to serve the full term with no early release or work / good time credit.

Asked if he had any comment, Sutherland smiled and shook his head as he walked away from the courtroom. Judge Stuart M. Rice also sentenced Sutherland to five years probation, and he must complete an 18-month alcohol education program and attend weekly therapy sessions for six months.

Outside the courtroom, Kiefer said: “Ha! 48 days is nothing. Sure, it sounds like a lot in soberland, but I’m from drunkland where 48 days is only a week if you subtract the 41 days of blackouts. I’ll easily pass the time with these bottles of Grey Goose and Belvedere. Wha… what do you mean I can’t take these in with me. Aww, goddammit! I probably should have planned this out when I was sober, huh?”

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