Kristen Bell

Kristen Bell is taking Dax Shepard as her New Year’s date to the Raleigh Hotel in Miami. However, she told the event planners that they could put her name or Dax’s name on the announcements, but they can’t put both. Presumably to not build an event off their relationship.

Wait, hold on. Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell? Dax Shepard must have a magic penis or a really well written ransom note because I don’t see how this guy can get Kate Hudson and now Kristen Bell. He’s from Punk’d and looks like someone sewed a pit bull’s head on a human body. Kristen is from Heroes and looks like if I surreptitiously sniffed her hair, I would be engulfed by a beam of warm light from while angels sang heavenly music in the skies. Dax dating Kristen Bell is like doing it with a weed whacker. Yea, it’s possible, but for the love of God, why?