Mary Carey is auctioning her breast implants

Former porn star and star of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew is auctioning off her breast implants with a portion of the proceeds going to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.

“Now that I’m sober, I wanted a new physical state to go along with my new mental state,” said Carey. “I thought the auction would be a great way to spread some holiday cheer and to make sure someone out there has a Mary Mary Christmas.” Mary was a size 36-D, and has increased to a size 36-DDD.

You read that right. This wasn’t a breast reduction. It was a breast enhancement and only a portion of the proceeds go to charity. If there’s a point at which breast enhancements stop being sexy and awesome and begin becoming comical and weird, I haven’t found it, but I think Mary Carey’s chest comes pretty close. Also, if you’re curious about the leftover auction money, it’ll probably go towards a vaginal rejuvenation surgery or something equally as unnecessary. Like bills.