Paris Hilton saves Oompa Loompas

Robin Sherwood, a little person, was performing as an Oompa Loompa in full makeup at Art Basel Miami Beach Saturday night when he was shoved into a metal stage support that sliced open his leg. No one noticed the guy was hurt except for Paris Hilton who went over to save him.

“Paris screamed for help and jumped up to move everyone away from him,” says our witness. “She held Robin’s hand and said the sweetest things to keep him calm. She stayed with him until he was safely in the ambulance on his way to the hospital.”

Whatever. People don’t exist unless you can see them at eye level. I guess that’s why little people don’t like me. I don’t even notice them. A few times, I’ll be walking down the street and feel a slight bump on my leg, but I always assume it’s a bum begging for change that I just accidentally kicked in the face. Turns out sometimes it’s a little person or a child. Look, it’s hard to tell them apart when you’re in a hurry to not miss the mid-season finale of Heroes.