Vanessa Hudgens

If you’ve questioned Zac Efron’s sexuality with much gusto, then you’ll be curious as to what his current girlfriend Vanessa Hudgens says about him. Star Magazine claims Vanessa wants Zac to quit being a wuss and freaking out over pimples, obsessing over his weight and stealing her diaphragm. Okay, I may have made the last one up.

“She wants to date a man, not a little girl,” an insider revealed to Star. “Vanessa told (Zac) to stop being such a sissy and freaking out when he gets blemishes.”

The source went on to claim Zac nearly bailed on a birthday bash for Vanessa’s little sis, Stella, last month after spying an enormous zit on his cheek. “He just flipped out. He knew there were a bunch of girls at the party who worship him – and he didn’t want them all staring at his pimple.”

Once the teen queen offered up her tube of concealer, all was well – for Zac. “Vanessa doesn’t want to share makeup with her boyfriend,” the source said. “It makes her feel weird.”

It’s not just the pimples that threaten to burst Nessa’s bubble. “Zac can be incredibly vain, obsessing about his weight.” Turns out, she’d rather wear the skinny jeans in the relationship.

“Vanessa wants Zac to realize that it’s OK if he doesn’t always look perfect. She would love him even if he didn’t look like a Teen Beat cover boy. In fact, she would probably love him more if he relaxed about his looks and got a little scuffed up once in a while.

When your girlfriend tells you to man up, that’s when you realize you’re a pussy. When your girlfriend offers you her concealer to calm you down, that’s when you realize you probably don’t even need your penis anymore. I’m pretty sure that when Zac saw those naked pictures of Vanessa, he asked if she wanted to borrow his waxing kit. And I hope she did because it was getting a little wild down there.

I was about to search for pictures of Zac Efron, but then I remembered I wasn’t gay.

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