Britney Spears

Both of these stories further highlight Britney’s descent into madness. The first one is of Britney wandering around an elementary school. The singer showed up at a Beverly Hills elementary school to pick up someone else’s kid. She waited outside before classes were done smoking and talking to herself. Witnesses say Britney was “rambling and confused.” When asked about her state of mind, Britney replied,

‘I’m here to pick up my kids.’ But then she changed her story and said, ‘They aren’t my kids; I have a new attorney, and I came to pick them up for her.'”

Adds the witness, “All I could think was, Who in their right mind would let her pick up their kids?”

Kids were reportedly freaked out over what was going on. The school eventually moved her to an entrance around the back. And then this.

But before getting into her car and driving off (without any children), she chatted up the female witness: “She said, ‘You’re so nice. You should give me your number. I don’t have very many friends.'”

Uh… awkward? OK! Magazine also has a very strange article about Britney Spears’ multiple personalities. The story goes that on January 19, Britney invited six members of the paparazzi inside her house to party on the condition they leave their cameras outside. They agreed and upon entry, Britney cracked open bottles of champagne. The photogs enjoyed themselves; drinking, smoking, eating leftovers from the fridge and for the most part, having a good time… until Britney changed personalities.

Then, just as suddenly as it had begun, the party came to a screeching halt. “Britney went into her bedroom and came out in a different pair of jeans and her pink wig,” one of the photogs tells OK!. “Her eyes went wide and she was yelling, ‘How the f**k did you get in here? Get the f**k out! Sam, get them out! Why are they eating my food? Get them out!'”

It’s a toss up between which story makes Britney sound more insane. Picking up someone else’s kid or changing personalities. I think picking up a kid. That’s just creepy. If I was the school, I’d offer Britney defense classes. They’ll teach students how to evade a Britney. At the end of class, each child will receive an easily attachable / detachable KFC drumstick key-chain. It’ll be like a rape whistle, but for Britneys. Don’t worry. It’s only a precaution for if they’re walking to the handball courts alone and they’re attacked. All they need to do is throw the drumstick and run.

Oh and here’s Britney walking through Petco without a bra. Just because.

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