Awesome update: Britney probably won’t see her kids again

Kevin Federline and his lawyers are already at the Los Angeles Superior Court’s Stanley Mosk Building Monday waiting for Britney Spears to show up so they can begin the custody hearing. Meanwhile, Britney is still at home and plans to not even consider attending the most important hearing to date in her custody battle. People reports,

As the hearing time passed, Spears, 26, remained at home. A source said she had “no plans” to attend the session. Another source said she had been “strongly advised” by her legal team to attend the hearing, adding that the singer was told that “her attendance is important.”

Stupid legal system. Don’t they know Britney is busy being a big star? Can they possibly expect Britney to work on her British accent, go to Starbucks, hang out with a photographer she met a few weeks ago AND attend a custody hearing. That’s like asking her to use a fork and knife at the same time. Watching her eat is like watching a bear tear through a fish.

Update: TMZ says Britney is on her way to court to testify.

Update 2: If you wanted to make a lot of money, you probably bet that Britney would show up to court. Well, you were probably feeling pretty good about your bet when she drove into the courthouse tunnel. Feeling good, that is, up until Britney told her lawyers she just wasn’t “into” testifying and drove away from the courthouse tunnel. Your stomach most likely did a few flips because you realized your bookie was really going to break your legs this time. But, you heaved a sigh of relief when Britney drove her Escalade back into the tunnel. Oh, then she drove away again and went to church. You’re so screwed.

Update 3: The commissioner ruled that Britney will not have visitation restored. At least until her next hearing on February 19.

I’m moving this post up. I think you know why.