Britney Spears

Britney Spears’ blood test came back negative meaning the singer was not drunk or on drugs. That’s a good thing, right? Uh, sure, if being psycho is better than being drunk or high. Life & Style says that “Britney appeared to be laughing when she was taken from her home into an ambulance.” While Us Magazine says,

“They had to strap her down like a mental patient and she was going between laughing and hysterics,” the source adds, calling it “a total psychotic breakdown. She just went crazy.”

As a result, Britney has now been designated a “special needs” patient (snicker) at Cedars-Sinai. Special needs patients are characterized as having tried to commit suicide or overdosing and are monitored 24/7. So, if Britney’s blood test came back clean, then I wonder which one it is? I was never good at multiple choice. All I know is that the only thing left to do is whisper nonsense in her ears while she’s sleeping just for kicks. Stuff like, “Don’t trust the turkey. He’ll turn on you,” and “The Hershey’s bar is coming with his marshmallow friends to take take Sean and Jayden away. Eat them. Eat them now!” This should make her either go completely bonkers or make her really hungry.

Update: Maybe I’ll make a new post about this, but until then. Britney’s visitation rights have been suspended and she’ll be monitored for 72 hours at the hospital.