There are benefits to being an MMA fighter and the UFC poster boy. First, there’s the money and fame. Second, there are the plethora of women who throw themselves at you. Third, you have the ability to pick up any random chick on the street, take her home with you (FIVESOME!) and not have to report to a police station the next morning as Chuck Lidell is shown doing in the video.

Dammit. I should train MMA. In fact, I’m ready to throw down right now. On one condition. That I don’t get hit. Blood makes me squeamish and I don’t think watching me run away crying would be very attractive.