Kelly Brook is my future wife. She just doesn't know it yet

More pics of Kelly Brook. Unfortunately, she’s covering up her most important features. I love seeing her in a bikini. I love seeing her without one on. But now, I’m wondering what exactly her and Billy Zane do for money. Does Hollywood really pay that well? Maybe Billy Zane is still living off the royalties from his hit, “The Phantom”.

An even more pressing question is why Kelly Brook is dating that walrus. I can only imagine that Billy Zane has the biggest wiener in Hollywood and he’s using it as a pendulum to hypnotize Kelly. That hairy walrus should take his bald head back to the ocean. He looks like her dad. It must be true. Women want to date guys who remind them of their fathers.

Side note: Check out the naked tan guy. WTF?!? It’s like he somehow wandered off the pages of National Geographic into this photo.

Guest contributor: Captain Swarthy

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