Lindsay Lohan will write her memoirs

Lindsay Lohan is intent on penning her memoirs which MSNBC describes as “part “Little Girl Lost” by Drew Barrymore and part inside look at being an “it” girl,” whatever that means. The article cites money as the primary reason she’s agreed to do it.

The mag says that Lohan, who’s widely reported to be cash poor after spending months at rehab, actually had to borrow $10,000 from pal Steve-O. Lohan’s rep denies this, but pals close to the Razzie-nominated starlet say Lohan is starting to worry. “She regrets all the cash she threw around the last couple years,” one friend told me. “She needs everything to fall into place and get her back on track, and fast.”

If I had to read a book about a rich, white slut throwing her money away on the two most important d’s in her life, drugs and dick, I might die. Not because of the headaches I’d get from my literacy problem, but from the seething anger that would undoubtedly build up inside of me. Eventually, it would bubble over, leading to a hardcore beat-down of my nearest Hello Kitty stuffed animal in a fit of rage. And I don’t need to tell you how much that would suck. It’s a collector’s edition!