Jake explains the donkey punch

When she’s not protecting little Jake Gyllenhaal, Reese is out protecting her artistic integrity. Her new movie with Vince supposedly is to feature an innocent sex scene with the ever expanding actor.

A studio insider said: “Reese has an issue with the scripted love scene. It is meant to be a funny, ‘American Pie’-style romp, full of bumps and laughs, but Reese is such a prude, she thinks it’s just too much.”

However, with Vaughn being one of the film’s producers, Reese is unlikely to win her argument – despite being one of Hollywood’s most highly paid actresses and an Oscar winner.

It has previously been reported Reese, 31, has been unhappy with Vince’s behavior on set.

While she is keen to work hard and film on schedule, he allegedly turns up to work hung-over, forgets his lines and is constantly fooling about on set.

I don’t blame Reese. Who wants to even touch that drunken wildebeast? If I want to see an ape have sex, I’ll turn on the Discovery Channel.

Reese definitely is a prude though. She reminds me of those girls in high school who won’t even let you get past first base. You walk around for four years with an erection poking through your pants. Then, you find out she screwed the first guy she met in college. Not only that, it turns out she’s a freak and always down. Thanks a lot buddy! I did all the work and you get all the credit.

Guest contributor: Captain Swarthy