Britney Spears

Britney and Adnan Ghalib went on a nude shopping spree (not really, but that’s what I’m going to call it) at the Betsey Johnson store in Sherman Oaks, CA on January 13. Britney reportedly took a bunch of clothes to the dressing room only to come out completely naked a short while later.

“I was blown away. Britney’s private parts were right in front of me!” a store employee tells Life & Style.

“I grabbed a dress to cover her and she screamed, ‘Get away from me! Don’t you f—— come near me!’ says the employee.

“Then she disappeared in the dressing room with Adnan for 45 minutes. They were making weird noises. It was disgusting.”

When Britney and Adnan stumbled out, Britney mumbled something unintelligible. “I couldn’t understand a word she was saying. She was slurring and spitting, and talking with a British accent,” says the employee. “Her face was covered with cold sores and acne, and her scalp was patchy. I wanted to help her, but she was so mean that I left her alone.

“Then she muttered, ‘F— you!’ and left the store.”

I’ve had nightmares like this. In them, I was frozen with fear, unable to do anything. “Don’t be a hero,” my brain warned me. I hope one day, if I’m ever faced with a naked Britney Spears covered in cold sores and acne shaking like gelatin in front of me, I’ll be able to find the courage to pick up the nearest pole and beat her with it.

In Touch also has info on Britney’s suicide note that she left in the bathroom during the standoff. Her pal Sam Lufti found it and a source says,

“It was filled with reasons why she shouldn’t live, included lines from poems about death. She said in it she was sorry for never making her life what everyone else wanted. She mentioned how lonely and unfair life could be, how peaceful death seems and how your mind would finally be at ease.” The friend adds, “She went on and on about wanting to just rest in peace.”

I heard after months of debate, McDonald’s decided not to bring back the Chicken Parmesan sandwich. Just, ehm, food for thought.