Why hellooooo there

J-14 interviewed Zac Efron, God knows why, and they somehow ended up in a discussion about kissing techniques. As with any conversation dealing with an even remotely sexual subject, Zac made himself sound gay.

Zac on what kind of kisses turn him on: “Be respectful of the other person and don’t just get on in there and grope all over the place. My favorite kisses happen when I’ve taken it nice and slow.”

Zac on what kind of kisses turn him off: “When girls rotate their tongues around your mouth like a washing machine, that’s not a good idea. I’ve never experienced a washing-machine kiss, but I’ve heard about them.”

Zac gives kissing tips: “Go easy and take your time. Don’t try to swallow the person you’re kissing by opening your mouth so wide!”

Taking it slow? No groping? Last time I’m going to ask. Zac, are you a woman? Because it sure sounds like you are. I think I speak for the rest of the male population when I say girls grabbing your crotch while swirling their tongue in your mouth and shoving it down your throat is hot. It’s like a free visit to the dentist. Not only that, imagine what they’ll do to your other head. In conclusion, Zac Efron is gay. I mentioned that earlier, but you might have forgotten.

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