Paris Hilton

Last night, Paris Hilton attended a pre-Super Bowl party for 944 magazine whose next issue’s cover features a topless Paris. During 50 Cent’s performance and after being given a “shout out” to by 50, Paris decided to climb onstage and start dancing. Bad idea because 50 told her to “Get the fuck off my stage.” At which point, Paris blithered between chocked sobs, “But it’s my party!” Sad face. Her people tried to make it so no one could take pictures of her crying, but Page Six was there.

Bwahahahahahahahah. Sorry, hold on. Bwaahahahhahahahhhah. God, it’s difficult to type when you’re laughing so hard. If Paris was anymore desperate for attention, she’d pick a random guy from the audience and fellate him. The only reason she didn’t is 50 Cent told her to “Get the fuck off my stage.”

Supposed video below. I have my doubts: