Britney Spears

Paparazzi are beginning to stay away from Britney Spears amid claims rival photo agencies are arming L.A. gang members from the Crips and Bloods with cameras. Nick Stern when he quit Splash said, “I’ve heard stories of fights, of car tires being slashed, cars being blocked in.” The agencies deny the report and say that just because their cameramen wear baggy clothes and have tattoos doesn’t mean they’re gang members.

“Britney Spears attracts huge numbers of photographers, and whoever muscles their way to the front gets the best picture. They’re not AP photographers wearing flak jackets, but that’s not to say they’re thugs, either,” said Chris Doherty, owner of the INF agency, which got the first photo of Spears after she was sprung from the UCLA Med Center psych unit Wednesday. “We got it because we didn’t follow the gang mentality.”

Maybe they think it’s dangerous because they don’t know the lingo. Whenever I step into L.A., I make sure I wear a lot of red or blue clothes and say, “Yo,” “Son” and “Blood” a lot. Oh and the N word, but making sure I end it with “A” instead of the uncool “ER”. And I do it while waving my hands wildly in the air and crooking my fingers. I think the paparazzi can learn a thing or two from me. I make a lot of new friends every time. People always stare at me in quiet disbelief thinking, “Man, I would have never guessed he’s not from around here.”