Britney Spears

On Tuesday, Us Weekly reported that Britney Spears taught dance to a bunch of five year olds at Millennium Dance Complex. Parents and children said they had lots of fun.

“She worked out this great little routine for them, they were dancing all over the place, she had them dancing in a circle like a choo-choo train,” he said. “The kids loved it- they are having a ball right now. And Britney- she’s just drinking it up. She’s totally enjoying herself. It’s an amazing class- she and the kids are certainly enjoying the process.”

Because of the demand for another, Britney taught another class on Tuesday. The kids already knew how to steal her heart.

Added daughter Gigi, “[Britney] came up and gave me a big hug. She hugged me three times last night! She was so nice. I brought her a chocolate Valentine rose. She said thank you and put it in her bag.”

You start to think what a cute story this is until you read what else this five year old shill Gigi has to say.

“She hugged me again. When I got home, I cried in bed because I was so happy.”

She probably cried because Britney gave her gonorrhea in the eye when she hugged her. Listen little kid, it’s not supposed to burn when you cry.

Oh and of course Britney dressed appropriately.

“We showed up, and she was wearing Cheetah shorts and looked so healthy and beautiful,” the student’s mother, Grace, told Us. “Her butt was hanging out.”

This sounds wonderful. Go ahead. Take your kid to Britney’s dance class, but don’t say I didn’t warn you when your kid comes back with circular burns in their head. After all, Britney has to put her cigarette out somewhere.