Britney Spears

The motorcade that followed Britney as she was taken to the UCLA Medical Center was said to be span an entire football field. It consisted of a dozen LAPD motorcycles and squad cars, one helicopter, a special mental health unit and the ambulance. The LA Times estimated the cost at $25,000 although the police spokeswoman would not confirm this. LAPD tries justifying this expense by reminding everyone 100’s of people are camped outside Britney’s house and calls her residence as some sort of tourist attraction. She also recounts that last time Britney was sent to the hospital, a photographer jumped on top of the ambulance. A UCLA professor chimes in,

“It seems like a lot, unless the reporters were armed,” quips Gary Blasi, a law professor at UCLA who also studies law-enforcement budgeting. “I don’t know what the security situation was, but based on the paparazzi I’ve seen, usually four police officers with guns will take care of it.

What would work best is if LA constructed an underground tunnel connecting houses of the rich and famous to rehab centers and hospitals for quick and easy access. The requirements for using such a tunnel are that one must have at least one published vagina slip, nipple slip, celebrity sex tape or have been nominated for some type of award which must be either made of or dipped in gold. Razzie’s are also acceptable. If d-list celebrities attempt to use it, the tunnel will be flooded without warning and their bodies summarily flushed into the ocean.