Britney Spears

Britney’s paperwork for an extended 14 day stay at the UCLA Medical Center was finalized on Sunday which means you’ll be getting three times the normal amount of Britney news. Meanwhile, June Austin Spears, Britney’s granddaddy, chimed in on the other Spears girl, Jamie Lynne. He said,

“Lynne keeps Jamie Lynn hidden,” June, 77, told us, referring to Britney’s mom and her knocked-up li’l sis.

“[Lynne is] in denial about the pregnancy. She thinks it’s just going to go away, but it’s not. It’s going to get bigger and bigger.”

One of these days, there’ll be news of Jamie Lynne suffering a miscarriage after accidentally falling down a set of stairs three times. When asked how this could have happened, Lynne Spears, Jamie’s mom’s, would say, “Well, I tried kicking her in the stomach while she was sleeping, but that didn’t work.” And then she’d follow it up with some sort of hillbilly dance.

June Austin also will probably not be voting for Barack Obama.

We asked Grandpa Spears what he thought of Sen. Barack Obama, and let’s just say, ahem, his views are consistent with many white Southern gentlemen of his generation. Moving swiftly on! June doesn’t drink, but he does have a fondness for firearms.