Heidi Montag

On Monday, Heidi Montag released the video for her hit single, Higher. Hundreds of people buried it labeling it amateurish, the worst video ever, chipmunk-like and not enough boobs. That last one was from me. Heidi Montag, delusional as always, thanked her “fans” on that really pink, fruity gossip site.

“I appreciate people taking time to write any kind of comment. Do you know how much effort it really takes to sit down and write a comment? I’ve never written a comment in my entire lifeā€¦ you really have to have a lot of passion and thought to write any comment, so thank you.”

You’re very welcome Heidi. I’m glad to have written a comment about you. As you know, comments are hard to write. Especially when I have to think about a comment as hard as you have to think about a comment. Usually, I like to eat ice cream as I write a comment so my brain doesn’t overheat. That’s probably why you haven’t written a comment in your entire life. Not because it takes you hours to peck at a keyboard to transfer your thoughts to the computer — thoughts like dog, cat and parakeet I assume — but, you weren’t eating ice cream while writing your comment! Duh! I’m glad you finally took the time to make a comment. You were eating ice cream at the same time, weren’t you? Ice cream is great.

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