Jennifer Aniston

Unable to find a man worthy enough to give her a child, Jennifer Aniston decided to freeze her eggs. An “insider” says Aniston isn’t worried about waiting to have a baby when she’s 45.

“It was a really smart move, because it buys (Jen) a few years to figure it all out,” an insider told the magazine. “The pressure has lifted.”

Jennifer probably considered adoption for a split second, but quickly realized everyone would think she’s trying really hard to be like Angelina Jolie. Although, what’s wrong with that? I’ve adopted five babies already so I can be like Angelina. One day she’ll see my commitment to poor kids and we can hook up and have sex. Afterwards, I’ll be able to finally sell these needy little monsters off to that Alaskan dog sledding team.