Catherine Zeta-Jones

Catherine Zeta-Jones was on hand in Sydney today to promote her new film, Death Defying Acts. Catherine laughed off rumors that she brushes her teeth with strawberries and washes her hair with caviar. She also admits that she won’t be playing any 19-year-old anytime soon because she’s a 38-year-old mother. In spite of this, expect her to get naked in her next film.

“In my next movie, which is an untitled movie at the moment, you’ll be seeing a lot more of me, put it that way,” she said.

“I’m not going to be playing old grannies anytime soon.

“You see, I haven’t actually reached my sexiest point yet.”

Catherine better not be trying to be cute. I’m not paying $10 to get into a theater just to jack off to her bare ass. I have better things to do. Can you guess what those things are? I’ll give you a hint. It’s along the lines of sitting in front of the tv alone eating my partially heated hot pockets and crying. Wait. Crap. I gave it away didn’t I?