Eva Longoria

To celebrate her 33rd birthday, Eva Longoria-Parker ordered a cake with her picture drawn on it. The baker spent three hours recreating a heavily airbrushed Eva from a photo her people supplied.

The hit of the party? A Vanilla Rum flavored cake by Edda’s Cake Designs bearing her likeness! “Eva’s personal assistant contacted the company on Monday, March 10,” a rep from Edda’s tells Star. “A friend of Eva’s recommended us.”

Amazing. I never met a cake I didn’t like, but this one annoys the hell out of me. I feel like battering it with my fists before ever eating a piece. Even though it would make for an awkward party, I think it’d be well worth it. Also, before the guests recover from their state of shock and before security escorts me out or maces me or whatever, I’d like to pee on it to render it inedible. Just in case my bloody knuckles didn’t do the job.

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