Heather Mills

Heather Mills made off with $50 million in her divorce settlement with Paul McCartney. Peg leg said Paul offered her $30 million to settle, but she wanted $250 million. Originally, it was believed Paul was worth $1.6 billion. The judge decided he was worth half that. Heather now wants to appeal to restrict publication of the judgment because it “contains private details about her daughter” (read: makes her look bad).

“I am so, so happy,” she said outside the High Court.

“I’m so glad it’s over, it was an incredible result in the end to secure mine and my daughter’s future and that of all the charities that I obviously plan on helping and making a difference with – because you know it has been my life for 20 years.

“Obviously the court do not want a litigant in person to do well, it’s against everything that they ever wish, so when they write the judgment up they’re never going to make it look in favour.

It’s said that when the judgment was delivered, Heather’s lawyers and supporters let out a resounding, “Yarrrr.” With a cool $50 million, Heather’s first order of business is to request a diamond encrusted prosthetic leg be made for her, which is both the latest in celebrity amputee fashion and a way to give a symbolic middle finger to Paul McCartney and her detractors.

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