Kevin Federline is still alive… why?

Kevin Federline celebrated his 30th birthday over the weekend in where else, Las Vegas. This place has become the new Hollywood. Everybody is always hanging out at Pure or Tao. Just once like I’d like to see someone hold a party at Circus Circus. You cannot beat their Midway games and the Russian trapeze artists never cease to amaze. When they swing down from their perch, you can sense their broken dreams. “Back in Russia, I work at Moscow State Circus. President come see me one day, say I can become personal acrobat of the state. I say niet. I want bigger dreams. I want big lights, big stage. I go to America. To Circus Circus.”

People has a more in-depth expose of Kevin’s party. What caught my attention was when they said, Kevin “expected to return home to Los Angeles, where sons Preston and Jayden remained in the care of a nanny and a bodyguard while their dad went to Vegas.”

Wow, on a milestone like your 30th birthday, what better way to celebrate than without your kids? Couldn’t he at least have brought them along and dropped them off with the acrobats at Circus Circus?

Up above is video of Kevin on the mic at his party. As usual, he acts like a jackass. Thankfully, he’s prevented from rapping by his friends. Friends don’t let friends like Kevin rap.

Guest contributor: Captain Swarthy