Mickey Rourke

Mickey Rourke was arrested at 4.a.m on November 8 and charged with DUI while riding his pastel-colored Vespa. The DUI didn’t stick because he blew under the limit, but he did get charged for reckless driving. The only way this story could be more hardcore is if Mickey got charged with littering while recklessly driving on his Vespa and then called the arresting officer a fat fuck. Wait, he did. Not the littering, but the other part.

“I’m friends with most cops in the city and they told me the guy who got me isn’t even liked by his colleagues,” Rourke tells Page Two. “He’s a 400-pound f–- unfit for duty.

“I said to him: ‘F–- you, I’m not drunk.’ I guess he didn’t like that. They started on me at the station with the pencil in front of my eyes. Then they gave me the breath thing, like, seven times. And it always came out under the limit. I had two drinks hours before they stopped me.”

Miami doesn’t mess around. Just look at the harsh sentence they handed him.

A six-month probation, fines and costs totaling $1,178.75, and 50 hours of community service. The court allowed him to buy the hours so he wouldn’t have to serve. It cost him an extra $10 per hour. He also was ordered to give $25 to the Ryder Trauma Center and 100 bucks to Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

He had to pay for time served, give $25 to a trauma center and $100 to MADD? This goes to show that the Miami justice system is run by a bunch of savages.