Will Smith

The new issue of Radar Magazine claims that Will Smith, Jada Pinkett and Kimora Lee Simmons are the newest celebrity members of Scientology. A big win for the zany group of alien worshipers because they’ve been aiming for more African American members (they opened up a center in Harlem in 2003) and as you may have noticed, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are black. They’re hoping that by having big African American stars they’ll convince other African Americans that the church isn’t only a place for crazy white people. It’s a place for crazy black people too!

In January, Smith was rumored to have given crew members a card good for a free personality test at the local Scientology center for a wrap present. Of course, Smith’s reps deny any affiliation, but sources insist the two are becoming more and more involved in the church.

“It’s not so much that anyone is upset that Will is becoming a Scientologist,” the source added after seeing a copy of the nine-page Radar piece. “It’s that as he becomes more involved, you’d think he’d sort of help fly the flag with Tom (Cruise), who seems to only get a bad rap for it, while Will does this and comes through just fine.”

I think a good way to increase African Americans membership would be to rent a huge, flashing billboard in the middle of Compton that says, “Scientology loves black peoples.” If they really want it to be effective, they should replace “black peoples” with the N word. Try it Scientology. The results may surprise you.