Britney Spears

Britney Spears’ conservators have decided to curb her spending by budgeting her each month. Instead of $100,000 a month on vacations, she’ll only be able to use $10,000; her $16,000 monthly clothing allowance will be halved to $8,000 a month and she will drop her $30,000 a month Malibu home that she never lives in. This was done to ensure her kids could live a comfortable life since, according to OK! Magazine, she’s only worth around $40 million; $60 million less than what was earlier reported.

Gosh. Who knew this pudgy mess was this poor. I think. I was never good with numbers, but in one class the professor told me if something has a lot of zeros and commas behind it, that means it’s a lot of money. I’m pretty sure OK! Magazine is telling me my math teacher was a dirty liar because they make it sound like Britney’s kids can’t survive without $1 million in the bank. Ah, dammit. I knew Ms. Scott was trying to sabotage my education when she made me draw pictures in class instead of adding numbers. What did she call those things? Graphs?