Tori Spelling is desperate

Upon hearing that the CW network is planning on remaking the popular Beverly Hills 90210 series, Tori Spelling expressed immediate interest in appearing in the series. She evens offers producers a few ideas on ways to justify paying her. Too old to play a student, Tori, who played Donna Martin in the original show, suggests she could maybe be stepmom or, reminding us of her virginal character, a sex-ed teacher. Oh, the irony!

“My dad always wanted to do a new version of 90210, so I’m sure he will be beaming from above!” Spelling, 34, tells PEOPLE, referring to her father, the show’s producer Aaron Spelling. “And I’d love to somehow be a part of it. That as well would make my dad proud!”

Hell, she doesn’t even have to be IN the show. She could be an adviser or a grip. Say, you guys need a janitor? Tori pushes a mean mop. No? How about if you just let her stand by the crafts service table? That’d be great too. Mmm, is that ham and cheese? Tori loves edible things.