A sex tape featuring a threesome with Shakira, her boyfriend Antonio de la Rua and singer-songwriter Alejandro Sanz on a yacht could very well exist. The tape is rumored to be in the possession of prosecutors evaluating the case against ex-employees of Sanz Carlos González and his wife, Sylvia Alzate, who were accused of extortion.

In a recent interview, Javier Ceriani, host of the radio show “Zona Cero”, said “there’s word of a private video taped in a yacht, which could involve Alejandro Sanz, Shakira and Antonio de la Rúa, but this material is in the prosecutors’ hands”.

He stated that, according to the prosecutor, “if some of this tape’s content would be made public, it could seriously threaten the singer and couple’s private life”.

I don’t know what the rest of the article said because I was too busy imagining Shakira being double penetrated. Then I realized Shakira is only 4’11” which basically makes her a midget. Which begs the question. Could this mixture of fetishes — celebrity, little person and DP — be the holy grail of celebrity sex tapes? If a boulder begins chasing you through a temple as you gleefully flee with the video, then I would venture to say that yes, it is indeed.

Update: April Fool’s my ass. Don’t play with my heart like that.