Ashlee Simpson

Earlier in the week, Pete Wentz adamantly denied reports that Ashlee Simpson was pregnant, calling it a witch hunt. Tuesday, Ashlee went on TRL and quasi-denied the rumor, saying it was an inappropriate question and “some things you want to keep personal.” In spite of this, gossip rags are continuing to report that she’s pregnant. Today, PEOPLE joins the fray and goes as far as to say that not only is Ashlee pregnant, she’s going to marry in May at a friend’s house in La Jolla, California.

Whether she’s with child or not, rest assured I’ll be an uninvited guest at the wedding. If the next day you read reports of eggs being thrown at Ashlee and Pete and of someone screaming, “You suck Pete Wentz! Your baby is an amoeba! That’s right. An amoeba! A single-celled organism!,” during the nuptials, then that’s me, baby!