Britney Spears

Upon entering the gym, Britney was puzzled by what lay before her. “What is this vile place that straps people into modern day torture machines?,” she wondered as Ben and Jerry’s dribbled down her chins. “Try it, you might like it,” her friend exclaimed, pointing to the treadmill. So she did. For two minutes. And she hated it. Crumpled on the floor and struggling for breath, Britney, choking back tears, sputtered, “I want muh ice cream sanwich! You promised me uh ice cream sanwich”

Update: Now with 100% more jiggle!