James Blunt

While performing in Asheville, North Carolina last month, James Blunt jumped off stage into the crowd. When women and men began chasing him, he ran away like a pansy and broke his finger. Doctors now need to break then reset his finger or he will never play piano again.

“It was a funny moment being chased, but when I got back on stage it was nerve-racking looking down and realising the finger was pointing the wrong way.”

“Upon reflection, it was dumb to jump into the crowd but in a way it was my own fault. I had leather-soled shoes on and just slipped.”

“I need it fixed. I need all my fingers to work properly. Not just for performing but for partying.”

Note that James Blunt is rumored to have taken the virginity of hundreds of Swiss chalet girls who proudly wear shirts acknowledging that fact. Jerk. I think a funny joke would be for the doctor to break all his fingers and not fix them and then shout, “April Fool’s!” Hehe. Get it? Because it’s not April 1 anymore!

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