Jessica Alba

Despite Jessica Alba’s ever expanding waistline made possible by whatever is festering in her womb (thanks a lot Cash), she’s still attractive. As evidenced by these pictures of her attending her baby shower. Amazing since some pregnant women seem to lose it after the first month. This leads me to believe her baby will have a pretty good chance of being beautiful. Then again, there’s also a pretty good chance of it slithering out of her vadge, crawling up the wall and turning its head 360 degrees to spew forth vomit. God, I just want to know how this dude slept with Jessica Alba and convinced her not to call the cops. Was it because he had a knife? I bet it was because he had a knife.

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