Jessica Simpson strips for Tony Romo

Jessica Simpson likes to keep her relationship with Tony Romo exciting by doing her favorite Pussycat Dolls routine on a webcam. Star Magazine writes:

“Jess has no problem showing Tony her favorite Pussycat Dolls routine. … She will dance in front of her camera until she makes her man happy. … She thinks it keeps the romance alive while they are far away from each other.”

First of all, I hope “until she makes her man happy” isn’t a euphemism for “until he comes” because that would be gross. Second of all, doing your best PCD routine is basically just looking like a tranny and hopping around on stage while your audience regrets ever buying a ticket. There’s really no trick to it. If you want to make it real authentic, grow a penis.