Lindsay Lohan

Yesterday it was all about Lindsay downing Red Bull and Grey Goose, today it’s all about Lindsay getting jealous that Ashley Olsen said “Hi” to her girlfriend Samantha Ronson.

“Ashley Olsen said hello to Sam at the Beatrice, and Lindsay screamed at her, ‘Get your 15-year-old ‘Full House’ a – – away from my girlfriend,’ ” said our spy. Saturday, Lohan said Ronson “was ignoring her” and became upset. “Samantha was really focused on her work and didn’t leave the booth for anything,” said our spy. Lindsay is so into her pal, she’s even created a Facebook profile under “Lindsay Ronson.”

Two girls fighting over one girl. On the surface, this story had the potential to be really erotic because all problems such as this can be easily solved by them going to a hotel and having a threesome while I sit in the corner breathing heavily. Unfortunately, things don’t always turn out the way you fantasized. Lindsay Lohan looks like a slutty Oompa Loompa, Samantha Ronson looks like Gollum from Lord of the Rings and Ashley Olsen looks like she enjoys boiling eye of newt and tusk of rhino every now and then. A threesome with them would turn out to be as erotic as the time I ate a turkey sandwich and found a fingernail in it.

Lindsay’s Facebook here if you want to Super Poke her. IN THE VAGINA! Be part of New York regional and you don’t have to friend her.