Naomi Campbell

More details have surfaced regarding Naomi Campbell’s arrest at Heathrow a week ago. Naomi claims they only arrested her because she was black and at the time, went into a racial tirade screaming “fucking white honkeys” at the cop. The Sun writes:

Now cops claim she called a WPC a “white ****” and a “white s**g” as she was dragged off the LA-bound jet in handcuffs.

Feel free to mad lib that the best you can. I don’t even know how they expect you to guess with four asterisks. This is like an advanced game of hangman.

After all this, Naomi voiced her displeasure at whitey’s apparent oppression:

“It just goes to show I have to fight for who I am. It’s because I’m black.”

And she’s right. The world is conspiring against her because of her skin color. That’s exactly why her luggage went missing and why they arrested her when she threw a temper tantrum and spat on a cop. Bravo. She’s figured it out. Now British Airlines and the police have to alert the Klan that Naomi is catching on. But, wait. What’s this? They can’t! Their emergency Klan phone is missing! Oh no!