Pam Anderson

Pamela Anderson has signed on to do an “observational documentary series” produced by E!. The series will debut in summer and will follow “Pam’s fabulous adventures, emotional journey and all the surprises that come along the way.” A very nice way of saying, “Let’s watch her try to stay relevant despite no one caring about her and then watch her subsequently break-down when she realizes no one cares about her.” A better documentary would be taking a camera crew out on the street and asking people who still cares about Pamela Anderson. The answer may shock you.

In other Pam Anderson news, the 40-year-old Baywatch star gave Hugh Hefner a naked lap dance for his birthday.

As Hefner walked into his luxury suite, she walked out of a bedroom – wearing only high-heel shoes.

Hotel owner George Maloof, 43, said: “He was stunned and had the biggest smile I’ve ever seen.”

Hugh Hefner gets all the young tail he wants. Why he was smiling is beyond me. He’s probably already senile because having a geriatric gyrate and slide herself on your crotch isn’t what I call a good time. Maybe it was a nervous laugh? Whatever the case may be, count me out. I’d have more fun tying one end of a 50ft rope to my scrotum and the other to the bumper of a Bugatti Veyron and after telling the driver to floor it, try to untie myself before I ran out of slack.