Paris HiltonParis Hilton has been banned from Russian Hyatt hotels. The moderately functional retard defaced a Hyatt’s $16,000 a night presidential suite during a photo shoot by writing “Paris Moscow 2008” in black marker on the wall. The Sun reports,

She posed in a skimpy dress, black boots and leopard print knickers for the snap. Bosses at the Hyatt Hotel fined her £4,500 and said she could never return.

A spokesman said: “Miss Hilton ruined the wallpaper in the luxury suite. In such a case the client automatically goes on the black list.”

They need to do this in America. Except, replace “banned from Hyatt hotels” with “thrown into the Grand Canyon and left for dead.” Hey, wait a minute. I think I’m onto something!