Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton took to her MySpace to declare her love for Benji Madden who’s currently in competition with Pete Wentz to see who can be more of a fruit.

Just wanted to check in and say hi! I’ve been on tour with my boyfriend for almost a month now. We’ve been everywhere from South Africa to all around Europe. It’s been so much fun! I’ve never felt so happy and in love, he’s such an amazing guy and life has never been better! :) It’s so much fun going to their shows every night, I now know every song by heart. I love Good Charlotte, they rock!! All the guys in the band are so cool and sweet and it’s been such an amazing and memorable experience.

No way Paris Hilton wrote this. Very few if any spelling errors, words are used correctly, punctuation above average for a MySpace post, but the most telling of all, Paris says she’s happy and in love. Paris Hilton cannot feel. Ribbed condoms and childproof Valtrex bottles, yes, emotions, no. Everyone knows Paris is an advanced humanoid sent from the future to destroy civilization and that you can’t stop her, you can only hope to contain her.

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