Paris Hilton

During her visit to South Africa to support Benji Madden’s band, Paris Hilton wanted to buy a cheetah. Not a stuffed animal cheetah mind you, but a real, flesh tearing one.

“Every time Paris saw something she liked, like a woman’s dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park. She asked how much it was and said, ‘If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?'”

Let this dumbass have it. With any luck, as Paris scuffles her size 11 feet across the floor in her half-assed attempt at walking like a normal person, the cheetah will think she’s an injured antelope and pounce.

DurDurDurDurDurDurDurDurDurDur

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