Harold and Kumar

“Harold and Kumar” over “The Forbidden Kingdom”: Everyone likes martial arts movies, but even more people like movies about potheads and White Castle.

Mariah Carey is important: To promote her new album, the lights of the Empire State Building have been changed to lavender, pink and white making it the gayest building in all of New York.

Jamie Lynn endangers her unborn fetus: Jamie Lynn Spears forgot to wear her seat belt. In the South, they call this “hoping for a cheap abortion.” Just kidding. It would probably cost a fortune to fix her car and insurance would be through the roof.

O.J. will not be celebrity apprentice: Apparently people think putting a man accused of double murder on a cutthroat apprentice show is a bad idea. Fools.

This week in reader’s comments…

From Paris gave me herpes on “Paris Hilton is a moron”: I hope the Russian Mafia hunts her down and slips a little radioactive isotopes into her vodka.

From capt. cornhole on “He’s Back“: Do you think he can still smell the shit on his finger from having up his ass?