Jessica SImpson

Life & Style reports Jessica Simpson no longer keeps her hair and makeup staff on call. She used to obsess over the way she looked, but now dresses however she wants because boyfriend Tony Romo doesn’t mind.

“He’s more attracted to her when she’s casually dressed with her hair hanging around her shoulders, than when she’s carefully coiffed and dressed to the nines.”

In other news, Tony Romo is gay. Jessica Simpson looks pretty. Sometimes. Other times she has the chiseled features of a male model. I can’t tell exactly what makes the difference, but my penis can’t take the frustration anymore. It already packed its bag and left. Bye-bye penis. I’m sorry it couldn’t work out between us.