Ashlee Simpson

Us is confirming earlier reports that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz will marry this Saturday at a “top secret” location. Guests, who have been given a “save the date notice,” will include close friends and family only. A source says “all guests will be transported in shuttles to the wedding location.”

It’s readily apparent Ashlee and Pete are being super secretive about their wedding, but I feel obligated to tell them no one gives a fuck. A tiger could be chasing them down the street and the most I’d do is chortle a little and give the tiger words of encouragement. “Go tiger, go! You can do it! The jugular. Go for the jugular!”