Britney Spears

In Touch says Britney Spears tore through a staggering $61 million in 2007, paying a hefty sum for legal bills, rehab, psychiatric care, clothes, cars and most likely, Starbucks. The biggest loss though came from Britney’s reluctance to tour.

“By not touring for her last album [Blackout], she lost out on $50 million,” estimates Robert Bianchi, an LA-based CPA who isn’t an accountant for Britney.

Her exorbitant spending habits have since been curbed by her newly appointed conservator/father Jamie Spears. But in Britney’s defense, I imagine it would be fairly easy to get caught up in the extravagant celebrity lifestyle when you’re rich and famous. If I had that kind of change, I’d be buying crazy shit like unicorns. People will tell me unicorns don’t exist, but I’ll just tell them to “make them exist.” And I can do that because I have much more money than them. The funny thing is, since people love celebrities and rich people, they’ll find a way to make it happen and before you know it, I’ll be driving out of the dealership in my fancy new unicorn while you’re still stuck in traffic in your lame Ford Focus. Suck on that poor people.