Cheryl Tweedy is part of the British pop group Girls Aloud. Their members like to dress up like trollops and shake their asses on stage. This is why I like the UK. Over here, our manufactured girl groups like the PCD are filled with tranny whores who sing about being sexy and hiding their scrotum. Over there, they have actual sexy girls who sing about having sex with me or at least that’s what I imagine they sing. Look, I don’t know. It’s not like I pay attention to the lyrics. I’m too busy holding up my gigantic glittery “I Heart Girls Aloud” sign and batting my eyelashes at them.